Going Against the Grain

When designing your best life, you’re probably going to need to do things differently than others say and think you “should.”

So how do you deal with all the opinions of those who don’t understand why you are going against conventional wisdom and keep pushing forward?

The Conventional Recipe

The supposed formula for a successful life… follow the herd. Comply with the norm. Do what the rest of the crowd does. Go to school, then to college, then get a job and eventually retire. Sound familiar?

Isn’t this the recipe for success that we are taught growing up?

You may have also learned you are expected to sit down at night to watch the nightly news, experiencing so much negativity and fear that you are left with worry and disgust. But we are programmed to feel it’s our obligation to know what’s going on in the world.

It can be hard to believe that some people are oblivious to the nonsense. There are very successful and educated people who do not watch the news, and do not believe that conventional wisdom is a recipe for success.

Don’t Fear Change

Fear is often what keeps us in line with the conventional norms. We are afraid to step out, to be different, to do things that others may disapprove of.

Know where the fear is coming from and don’t engage. If it’s the news, don’t watch it. If it’s low vibe friends who focus on negativity, limit your time spent with them.

How many have heard, “If all your friends were jumping off a bridge, would you too?” It’s a bit drastic, but isn’t that what we’ve been asked? Yet, we are programmed to do just that. Follow the crowd. Conform. Go to school and then college, find employment. Yet even that is not guaranteed, especially now. The world has changed.

We look at it as if it’s been “the way” for so long, but the notion of it really isn’t that old. Look back 150 years ago at farming and agriculture. People weren’t employed by a corporation. They made their own way.

You can give yourself the opportunity to use your skills, abilities, efforts and talents to impact the world in a better way. You do not need to live the way other people think you should. Do not be afraid to change your life.

Choose to Keep Going

Back when we started our entrepreneurial journey, my dad was really nervous. Rich and I both had great professional jobs at the time. But now he sees the journey we’ve been on and the lives we’ve impacted, and he recently commented that we absolutely made the right decision.

People around you will have so much input on what you should and shouldn’t do. We did things differently, despite what others believed. It wasn’t easy and there were long hours and sometimes unusual methods of operating.

The Australian entrepreneur Peter Daniels talks about how the level of success that you reach in life coincides with your willingness to bear pain. He doesn’t sugar coat it. There are so many people who quit too early. As soon as something goes “wrong” or not as expected, or they hit a roadblock, they call it quits. You need to be willing to go through the discomfort to get where you want to go.

There’s Magic Outside the Box

Growth and change require you to be willing to not just step out of your comfort zone but to think outside the box. When others zig, you may need to zag. You are likely to hear many opinions from others when you do.

Recognize that they are projecting their fears and very well may just believe they are protecting you. There may even be successful, educated people that we respect and have authority saying things about the decisions and paths we choose.

They see things through their own eyes, based on their own experiences, hardships, and paradigm.

When others do not understand, lean into your internal guidance. It’s there for your benefit. You need to rely on what you’ve built up in your own life and anticipate where you are going. Follow your gut instinct and listen to your internal GPS.

Blaze Your Own Trail

Step and dance outside of your comfort zone. YOU are designing YOUR best life, not someone’s else’s version of what it should be.

Do things differently, despite criticism, and understand that you’re not alone in this. Find a community of people who are committed to designing their best life as well. Within the Unstoppable Influence Academy and at our live events, we are surrounded by people who encourage each other, who think big and discuss the possibilities. They brainstorm, uplift, and share the wins. Together, they face their fears.

Fear is an intense motivator to get people to go with the crowd. Don’t let fear dictate what you do. Don’t allow it to stop you from starting that business, writing that book, submitting that speech… or from designing a life that you love.

Be YOU, whatever that entails.

See what happens when you go against the grain.