Do you ever find yourself saying… “I wish I had more time?” or “24 hours in a day are really not enough?”
If I’m honest…I think I wore it like a badge of honor … then I would complain about all the things I had on my schedule.
One day Richard called me out on it…
And it was like a switch flipped… and I set out to reclaim my day…
Now, I don’t feel “overwhelmed” by alllll the things… even though I have a business and raise 3 little people while being a wife, sister, daughter, friend……
How did I do it?
Over the years, Richard and I came up with three simple tools to create time for ourselves, not just to do more, but also to breathe, rest, and enjoy living in the present, and today, we’re sharing them with you.
So, if you’re ready to learn about these tools, give this week’s episode a listen, and let us know what you think!
What’s the biggest obstacle to achieving your goals? When we asked our community this question, 50% of the people who answered identified lack of time as their biggest issue.
I’ve been there, and so, I understand what it’s like to feel like you never have enough time for anything.
Now I’m waaaay better at managing my time. How did I do it?
Well, over the past several years ago, Richard and I began using three incredibly easy tools to create more time for ourselves (and no, it’s not a time machine!) LOL
Many people feel like they don’t have any control over their schedule, which is where their lack of time comes from. Instead of having power over their busy life, they merely react to everything that comes their way.
Another reason you might not be able to find time to focus on yourself and your loved one is the vice of being busy.
I’ve noticed it with what feels like everyone around me, whenever I ask them how they are, “busy” is their answer. Heck, it was MY answer for years and years!
“Busy, busy, busy…” like it’s a virtue.
We all have the same 24 hours in a day (yes, even Oprah or Reese Witherspoon), and we can all learn to maximize those 24 hours..
As the former top billing attorney at my law firm one year (an award I won while building our business), I know about having a full plate….or dare I say, an overflowing plate.
Whether your goal is starting your own business or getting in shape, or spending more time with your friends and family, there is a way to do that without overwhelming yourself.
How? By following our three tried and true simple tools!
Learning How to Say “No”
Growing up, I watched my mom take on many roles in a variety of organizations. She was a superhero in my eyes! She loved every second of it! She was on the boards of countless non-profits, she was active in our school, in many social organizations, all while taking care of us..
As an adult, I strived to be like my mom. Because I had learned that I could do many things at once, I would sign myself up for countless activities. But then, I’d be so busy I’d start complaining about it to Richard.
He didn’t sympathize with me… ha ha ha…. He simply reminded me that I chose to do all of those things.
“Stop being a martyr,” he would tell me. “You brought this on yourself!”
I didn’t really appreciate hearing that at first, but it jolted me out of my victim of time role. You see, I apparently liked to wear the “badge of busy-ness,” as we call it. I saw being busy as a virtue I needed to pursue, and in the end, completely overwhelmed myself.
I acted as if I were the victim, as if the world demanded I do all these things and I had no control, when the truth was, all I could say was “No.”
You see, “no” is the shortest sentence in the English language. It’s tiny but mighty, and it has a lot of power. As soon as I started implementing it in my life, I felt FREER! Woo Hoo!
People would ask me to be the president of a non-profit or host a party or start an organization, and I would simply say “no.” It was so freeing, and I felt empowered by it. I could simply say no, without apologizing, and without making up excuses.
How to Stop Living on Other People’s Schedule
This next tool is all Richard! Even though I am sometimes the recipient of this tool (which annoys me on occasion), it’s still one of the best out there!
A few years ago, Richard’s father gave him a self-help book by Charles Givens, called Super Self. The book was about doubling your personal effectiveness, and the main thing that really stuck out to Richard was this: if your phone rings and you’re busy, don’t answer it.
He started implementing this right away, and it’s given him such control over his schedule! Why? Simply because when a phone rings, and we stop everything we’re doing to answer it, we’re living on other people’s agenda.
You don’t know the caller’s mental state or how long the phone call is going to take. It could be a quick 5-minute call or a long and draining 1-hour call. When someone calls you, and you drop everything to answer them, you’re giving away the control you have over your time.
So stop doing that. Let it go to voicemail! Call them back when it’s convenient for YOU!
Try it for a few days and see how you feel!
The Power of Focused Energy
The third tool I’m going to share with you today is what we like to call “Focused Energy.”
What is focused energy? It’s a tool that I discovered one day when I was being interviewed for a magazine. The writer asked me this question: “How do you do it all? You’re a mom, you’re on the board of a non-profit, you’re an entrepreneur, and you’re also pretty social. We don’t understand. Do you have a secret 36-hour day? How do you do it all, and how do you do things with excellence?”
And what’s funny is that I had no obvious answer to this question. I really had to sit with it and ponder it. This is because, consciously, I wasn’t doing anything.
And so, I started dissecting my behavior. What was I doing that had been working so well?
And that’s when I discovered the power of focused energy.
Focused energy works like this: I would set a specific deadline for myself. Not a wishy-washy one, but a do-or-die deadline. As a lawyer, this urgency made sense. After all, if I missed a deadline, I could be sued for malpractice or lose my law license.
And so, I would apply that level of intensity to all the deadlines I would set. Whether I needed to write a blog post, help my daughter with a school project, lose weight, or host an event, I would set a non-negotiable deadline and stick to it.
Doing so helps me go into the zone and truly focus on what I’m working on without allowing anything to interrupt me.
By setting a do-or-die deadline, you’re regaining control over your life, so try it, and let us know what you think!
I want you to know that we get it. You have a lot on your plate. Life can be busy and messy, and challenging, which is why finding time to recover, breathe, and laugh with your loved one is crucial. By implementing these three tools in your life now, you’ll be able to do just that!
Hope you enjoyed that episode! If you did, please give us your honest review on Apple Podcasts… It would mean the world to us!
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